DEAR MAN Pronunciation Guide: Master Communication Phrases in English

The DEAR MAN framework is a powerful communication technique that helps you express your needs while maintaining respect. For English learners, mastering the pronunciation of these key phrases gives you ready-to-use expressions for any situation where you need to speak up.

What is DEAR MAN?

DEAR MAN is an acronym where each letter represents a step in effective communication:

• D - Describe
• E - Express
• A - Assert
• R - Reinforce
• M - (Stay) Mindful
• A - Appear Confident
• N - Negotiate

Let's learn how to pronounce the starter phrases for each step.

D - Describe: State the Facts

Start by describing the situation objectively, without judgment. Use these phrases:

Starter phrases for Describe:

• "When this happens..." /wen ðɪs ˈhæpənz/
• "I noticed that..." /aɪ ˈnoʊtɪst ðæt/
• "The situation is..." /ðə ˌsɪtʃuˈeɪʃən ɪz/
• "What happened was..." /wʌt ˈhæpənd wʌz/

E - Express: Share Your Feelings

Express how you feel using "I" statements. This keeps the focus on your experience.

Starter phrases for Express:

• "I feel..." /aɪ fiːl/
• "This makes me feel..." /ðɪs meɪks miː fiːl/
• "I'm concerned that..." /aɪm kənˈsɜːrnd ðæt/
• "It's important to me because..." /ɪts ɪmˈpɔːrtənt tuː miː bɪˈkɔːz/

A - Assert: State What You Want

Clearly state what you want or need. Be direct but polite.

Starter phrases for Assert:

• "I would like..." /aɪ wʊd laɪk/
• "I need..." /aɪ niːd/
• "Could you please..." /kʊd juː pliːz/
• "What I'm asking for is..." /wʌt aɪm ˈæskɪŋ fɔːr ɪz/

R - Reinforce: Explain the Benefits

Reinforce your request by explaining how it benefits both parties.

Starter phrases for Reinforce:

• "This would help because..." /ðɪs wʊd help bɪˈkɔːz/
• "If we do this..." /ɪf wiː duː ðɪs/
• "The benefit is..." /ðə ˈbenɪfɪt ɪz/
• "It would make things easier..." /ɪt wʊd meɪk θɪŋz ˈiːziər/

M - (Stay) Mindful: Keep Focus

Stay focused on your goal. Don't get distracted or sidetracked.

Starter phrases for Mindful:

• "Let's stay focused on..." /lets steɪ ˈfoʊkəst ɑːn/
• "The main point is..." /ðə meɪn pɔɪnt ɪz/
• "Coming back to the topic..." /ˈkʌmɪŋ bæk tuː ðə ˈtɑːpɪk/
• "What I really need is..." /wʌt aɪ ˈrɪːli niːd ɪz/

A - Appear Confident: Project Assurance

Even if you're nervous, appear confident through your voice and body language.

Starter phrases for Appear Confident:

• "I'm confident that..." /aɪm ˈkɑːnfɪdənt ðæt/
• "I believe..." /aɪ bɪˈliːv/
• "I know we can..." /aɪ noʊ wiː kæn/
• "I'm sure that..." /aɪm ʃʊr ðæt/

N - Negotiate: Find Common Ground

Be willing to give and take. Look for solutions that work for everyone.

Starter phrases for Negotiate:

• "What if we..." /wʌt ɪf wiː/
• "Would you be willing to..." /wʊd juː biː ˈwɪlɪŋ tuː/
• "How about..." /haʊ əˈbaʊt/
• "Can we find a middle ground?" /kæn wiː faɪnd ə ˈmɪdəl ɡraʊnd/

Putting It All Together

Here's a complete example using all the DEAR MAN steps. Practice reading this dialogue aloud:

Situation: You need to ask your manager for a schedule change.

D - Describe: "I've noticed that my current schedule has me working every weekend for the past month."

E - Express: "I feel exhausted, and it's affecting my work quality. I'm also missing important family time."

A - Assert: "I would like to request having at least one weekend off per month."

R - Reinforce: "This would help me recharge, and I believe I'd be more productive during the week."

M - Mindful: "I understand the team needs coverage. The main point is finding a sustainable balance."

A - Appear Confident: "I'm confident we can find a solution that works for everyone."

N - Negotiate: "Would you be willing to look at the schedule together? Maybe we could rotate weekends among the team?"

Quick Reference Card

Practice Tips

• Start simple: Practice each phrase individually before combining them
• Record yourself: Listen back to check your pronunciation
• Use a mirror: Watch your mouth shape for difficult sounds
• Practice daily: Pick one DEAR MAN step each day to focus on

Remember, the goal isn't perfect pronunciation. It's clear communication. The DEAR MAN framework gives you a structure, and these phrases give you the words. Now practice until they feel natural!